"Heat flows from warmer to colder objects spontaneously, in accordance with the second law of thermodynamics. In Australia, this means that heat is flowing from everything into you, and it makes you beg for death." - Nick Maddox (aka Someone Smarter than Me)
Let's talk about heat.
Despite the variety of landscapes and cultures available in Oz, I think everyone knows that heat is a consistent aspect of life down under. Just like a stereotypical Canada is freezing cold and covered with snow, Australia is known for being this horribly hot and humid hell that throttles all life and makes life incredibly painful. And yet, just like any Canadian knows that Canadian stereotypes of constant cold and polar bear riding aren't true, the Australian myth of heat is a slight myth as well. In fact, I might make the claim that the hottest day I have ever experienced was not here in Oz, but rather back home in Alberta. I'm not crazy I swear! When it comes to straight up "heat", I have experienced days in Canada that have felt hotter than here. Let me explain:
We first flew into Sydney, where we rode out the beginning of summer in the city heat. On the hottest day it got up to 42 degrees Celsius. I'm not making that up. It was warm. And yet when you walked outside it was the air that was hot, not the sun. Because of the amount of moisture in the air, the sun seemed too busy heating up the air around me instead of burning my skin. I could walk outside and feel very warm, however that "hot" feeling wasn't there. We could lie on the beach and feel like we weren't burning up because the sun barely felt like it was touching us. In Calgary, the sun just smacks you in the face and throws you down. Here the heat envelops you and gives a sensation of incredible, sticky warmth. Despite what the thermometer said, 42 degrees in Sydney wasn't actually that bad. However, we were told by the locals that this was nothing. Cairns is where the heat is, they said.
So we went to Cairns.
Cairns has an average humidity of around 80%, reaching up to 90% if you head into the rainforest a bit more. As someone who has lived in the dry, near-desert climate of Calgary for most of his life, I expected to step off the airplane and be hit by a wall of humidity. I expected to barely be able to take in a breath because it was so thick and muggy. Instead, I stepped off the plane into a slight increase of humidity. The wall had been heavily over-exaggerated. No wall.
Fast forward a month, and I can confirm that Cairns is humid. Over here, the sensation of "dry" doesn't exist. If you shower, you continue to be wet for the rest of the day. You never dry off. I'm not sure if you stay wet because the water doesn't evaporate, or if you simply sweat perpetually, keeping a layer of moisture at all times. I think it is a combination of the two. Food doesn't do well out of the fridge, beer gets warm within minutes of opening it, and towels need to be constantly washed because they stay wet and grow mould. And despite all this, I have the audacity to insist that Canada gets hotter on certain days.
Story time: Two nights ago, we decided to go camping on the rainforest floor. Initially we were concerned about the spiders in the region creeping into the tent and killing us to death in our sleep. However, we soon realized that this was the least of our concerns. The heat was what almost killed us that night. The day was a balmy 37 degrees, and we drove north from Cairns, into the beautiful rainforests in the Daintree region. In our naive Canadian minds, 37 degrees wasn't a problem, as it would surely cool down before night. It turns out that the tropics don't do that. So laying down in the tent at 10 PM, the thermometer showed 32 degrees. 32 degrees in a tent is significantly less pleasant than 32 degrees in the open air. Inside tents, there is no airflow or movement. Just humidity, penetrating pillows and making everything sticky and moist. I cannot describe how brutally painful it is to attempt to sleep in that weather. It felt like we couldn't breathe. It felt like we were swimming in a hot-tub. Everything became the same temperature, and it was hard to tell if we were touching something or not, because there was no difference in heat. Imagine floating in a sauna, that was what that tent was like that night. I don't think I slept a wink.
Yet despite all of this humid heat, it never felt "hot", just warm. And there is a difference there. In Alberta, particularly in Drumheller, the heat from the sun is so strong that it gives a painful burning sensation. You actually feel like you are burning up under the blazing sun. While it can get "technically" get hotter here, instead of direct sun-burning, the heat is distributed by the humidity and gives the sensation of uncomfortable warmth. Sitting in the sun, you don't feel the sun in your face, just uncomfortable heat everywhere. Think of this in the form of tea: if you stick the tip of your finger into boiling tea, you will feel the sensation of heat. It will burn. You will jerk your hand back, maybe scream in pain, maybe cry a little (I do not speak out of personal experience. This is hypothetical. Grown men don't cry.). That is the heat of Alberta. But if you stick your finger into lukewarm tea and then bring it to a boil, you will experience the kind of warmth I'm talking about. The warm sensation will surround your finger, and become unpleasant after a while. But it won't quite hurt, even as the tea gets hotter and hotter.
If you are thinking of travelling to Australia and are concerned about the heat, don't be. It is a very manageable constant warmth, not a burning heat. The hottest day I have ever experienced was in Canada, under the burning Alberta sun. That being said, I don't advise camping in the rainforest. Just learn from my mistakes, and don't do it.
